About a month ago, Steve Weddle, along with Keith Rawson, inspired by the People of Walmart site, suggested to Patti Abbott, Aldo Calcagno from Powder Burn Flash, and Gerald So, to host a flash fiction challenge called "Walmart, I Love You." Patti proposed a 750-800 word story that is set, or partially set, in a Walmart.
***The Story has been removed. It now appears as "Secret Identity" in the Untreed Reads crime fiction e-book, Discount Noir and is available for purchase.
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22 comments:
Kathleen-you managed to make it realistically inspirational despite the setting--a great achievement. Thanks for participating.
Ha. Nice use of the saying there at the end. And glad to have found your blog through the challenge.
Hi Patti,
Thanks for your kind words. I had fun participating. Thanks for hosting! I enjoyed your story and the format was such fun.
Hi Steve,
I am glad to have found your blogs via the challenge as well! Your story was terrific, and the ending was smashing!
Kathleen - This is a terrific story!! You've got a real ear for dialogue and a solid sense of plot. I wanted to read more! I love this! And, like Steve, I'm glad I found your blog : )
I love how you worked their advertising slogan into the story. Great story!
Love that last line, Kathy! Great way to add a touch of humor.
Hi Margot,
Thank you for your incredibly kind comments! I'm overwhelmed. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. After years of writing "just the facts," I'm very new at fiction, so I'm trying to find my sea legs!
Hi Sandra,
It sort of played right into it, I couldn't help it! I didn't think of that ending when I started, I just knew the story I wanted to tell and it led there. You did a terrific job with "The Gimmick"-- I was rolling.
Hi Laura,
Thanks! I believe, whenever it allows, we should always make room for levity in our stories (especially when it comes to a Walmart).
Oh, Kathleen,
Again another good story and one with a very good message. Kathleen I love you!
I also really liked it. Not too grim but not sappy either. How did I know there might be Crimestoppers in it? Walmart, I love you, too!
Hi Nora,
Thank you for your thoughtful comments! I actually was the cop interviewed about a wallet theft on Christmas Eve, but the man who stole it had a FEW kids with him. We ran the story as a "Crime Alert" hoping someone would recognize him. The poor woman ahead of him was juggling packages and kids.
Thanks for visiting Women of Mystery!
Hi Clare,
It's all about balance sometimes, isn't it?
I may as well put this Crime Stoppers knowledge to use! I did speak with children over the years who were calling about their parents. It was heartbreaking, but I admired their courage. I respected every person who called us; I knew what it took to pick up that phone.
So glad you liked it!
Well told through the eyes of the child without making it seem sappy or too simple. A moral lesson that didn't beat us over the head about it.
The rest of your blog looks pretty good, too. Getting the feed now.
Thanks, Dana, for dropping by. I enjoyed your "One Stop Shopping," a neatly crafted story. Hope he enjoyed that steak! Good ole Enid...
Welcome to our Women of Mystery blog...we hope to see you often.
I like that this is in the kids voice, it avoids a lot of the holiday sarcasm and beat down nature that stories by adults tend to use. Well done.
Hi Bryon,
Thanks for visiting and reading my "Walmart" story. I really enjoyed "Super People of Walmart," the title and the story. Zap is a riot. I'd love to read more about him! You can have a lot of fun with that guy, and you're off to a good start!
Lovely story, great ending!
... he called it a “crime of opportunity,” but I thought it was stealing.
I love this line! Those little misunderstandings of colloquialisms really help develop the character. Nicely done.
Kathleen--I really loved this. Scumbag dad's getting what they deserve is an awesome device. Fun story!
Great story! Another Merry Christmas thanks to our friends at Walmart.
Hi Lois,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments; I'm tickled that you liked my story!
Hi Loren,
Thanks for visiting and reading my story. I tried to put myself in the shoes of this seven-year-old and think about what he may/may not understand, yet make him a bit street-smart, too.
I really enjoyed "Thirty-One Hundred." It knocked me over.
Hi Keith,
I appreciate your remarks, I'm so touched that you liked "Walmart, I Love You."
"A Pink Tidal Wave" blew me away! It was a riot.
Hi Evan,
Thanks for your kind remarks, too! I thought "Skyler Hobbs and the Rollback Bandit" was terrific...such fun characters. Congrats on the upcoming EQMM -- how exciting!
Clever use of a child's perspective, Kathleen. Thanks for your comments on the other stories as well.
" ...he called it a “crime of opportunity,” but I thought it was stealing." -> LOL.
A fine Christmassy story, and you hit the voice of the child very well (as far as this Danish reader can judge).
Merry Christmas.
Hi Gerald,
Thank you for your kind remarks. I enjoyed reading "Need a Hand?" I thought you did a fine job, and it's very timely (no pun intended) with the popularity (now 350 million users) of Facebook.
Hi Dorte,
Thanks for coming by for a visit. Your story, WalMartyres, resulted in many belly laughs. If/when I ever visit a Walmart again, I'll be thinking of your famous line, "All that flesh..."
I appreciate your thoughtful comments!
Merry Christmas to you, too!
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