Two For Tuesday - What Not To Write Edition

Under normal circumstances, I can find a few good sentences to give you folks for the day. But this has been an insane week, and I haven't had a chance to read much. Unfortunately, the book I did read was just ghastly. It was by a woman whose romances I used to read ages ago and really liked, so I thought I would give her a shot again. But rather than a delightful rediscovery, I got a true wallbanger. And towards the end, the author justifies the wallbangerness.

“Isn’t it a remarkable coincidence that you and I have both discovered unknown families? Random relatives returned from the dead? I don’t know what to think, apart from happy. But I feel as if I’ve wandered into a stage play.”

“The events haven’t really been random,” he said thoughtfully. “You and I were both removed from our proper places, you by your father, me by the all-powerful authorities. Through the efforts of your father and my stepfather, we have been restored to families that already existed. The timing is a bit coincidental, because it happened to both of us at almost the same time, but the events themselves are logical.”

Um, no. All I can say is if you have to write sentences like those to justify your book's overdone plot, you've lost me as a reader.

Not that my own sentences are going to be anything earth-shattering, you understand. I just feel...cheated...when I expend time and energy, not to mention money, reading something I have to assume has been vetted and approved by an agent and publisher, but I want to throw something when I am done.

That said, here are my own, non-earth-shattering sentences for this week:

Eric Allenby knew the woods, the hollows and caves, the pathways well-worn and barely discovered, the rocky outcroppings and fallen logs. He’d known the moment the intruders had taken over the tumble-down, rot-wood shack at the edge of the lake, and had considered chasing them off right away. But their impact on his business remained small, and he’d decided to bide his time. As so often, patience proved rewarding.

And you? Read anything fabulous or not-so-fabulous? Write anything?

Leah J. Utas read something tasty and wrote something...itchy!