So this week I got comments back from my agent and they were...not good. I'll give you one nice sentence and then the summation sentence for the two sentences I read this week:
So I looked this over and I really do love your voice and was thrilled with how strong your writing is.
...
I’m sorry I don’t have better news, but ultimately, in my mind, I fear this would need a total overhaul before we could take a next step with it.
So I guess it's on to the next project. Luckily, I am already working on that. Here are a few sentences I wrote this week:
“Let me just call TJ and tell her to drop by here whenever she gets done at the mansion. I can’t imagine her father will want her to stick around, but I’d like her to do her best to listen in as long as Pike’s there and to talk to Alicia, Drew’s wife, too. What the hell was Drew Dobbs, State Senator and congressional hopeful doing at the Belle Pointe construction site at 3am?”
What about you? Did you read anything interesting? Anything not so interesting? Write anything?
- I really want to meet Mrs. Ingetuckle from Leah J. Utas' sentences this week.
- Crystal Phares has sentences from a point of view most certainly not her own.
- Scott Parker has murderous and enthralling sentences.
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12 comments:
Ouch. Never fun getting notes like that from the agent. Are you sure you can't overhaul it?
I did finish reading the mystery/thriller "Smoke" this week, which was pretty good. I'm a little behind on my current WIP, so better get started.
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
Well, there was something nice, but your agent really needs to work on her endings.
And what was Dobbs doing out at that hour?
I've put up something at my place.
I agree with Leah, your agent needs to work on the ending a little more.
Your sentences make me want to find out exactly what is going on there. Good job!
I've got my two lines up. Have a great day.
I've had a few letters like that from agents. My question is this: did she give you any indication as to why the agent thinks you need to overhaul the work? I mean, if you have a strong voice, I'd think the story would be strong, too.
My mind starts whirring at the thoughts of why the honorable Mr. Dobbs is out at 3am....
My twofer is up at my SF blog: http://sf-safari.blogspot.com.
Dobbs is apparently up to no good, and I would declare the same about your agent but since she loves your voice I will give her the benefit of the doubt.
So I'm reading something you recommended (I think!)...Tropic of Night by Michael Gruber. (If you didn't, who did?) "I do not panic. I go back to Records and finish my day, alphabetical order being such a comfort in periods of tension, and it gives me time to think."
I'm doing some cleanup, getting my 'full' ready to send out in the event some astute agent requests it. (I'm avoiding my synopsis, which I should also be working on because as it stands it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi, but it does seem as if nobody wants a synopsis these days??? Is this wishful thinking?)
So from the novel I'm shopping right now: “I’ve been struck from the story,” she announced, letting me in the door. “Big Boots Mulligan is stepping off his editorial throne to handle the murder, and he’s clamped his mouth shut. Tell me everything, soup to nuts.”
Elizabeth -
Maybe...but maybe next year. I think for the moment it's time to put it away and let it sit.
Leah -
Her letter sort of sags in the middle, too. Hehehehehe.
Scott -
Oh, yes. She was quite specific. I chose my agent because I respected her grasp of things, so I can't very well say she's wrong. And I am sure she's not. It's just disappointing to hear.
Lois -
I like Tropic of Night, but I am not at all sure I recommended it. But I'm happy to take the credit!
Thanks for the good thoughts, all!
Laura- dang. I'm glad you're already working on the next thing.
Lois- I might've recommended it. I do LOVE that one. Let me know how you find it.
Tough news, but on the bright side you have an agent who is being honest with you. That's a huge step and one I haven't achieved.
At least your agent likes your voice! Maybe the next project will be the winner.
Here are two sentences from my own project:
"Small sounds, barely heard in daylight hours, grew to epic proportions and conjured images of dragons and monsters in the knight's head. Shivering, he turned to prayer to keep his wild imagination in check."
Travis -
Yep, I know. And I do keep telling myself that this was my first attempt at this genre and goodness knows my first attempt at a mystery was nothing to write home about!
Colleen -
Welcome to the blog! Can't wait to see more of the work in progress...
Owwee sentence from an agent, though the first one was inspiring. What kind of 'overhaul' were they thinking of?
I would like to know why Dobbs was out at 3 am too! Sneaking around in the dark at a construction site sets up intrigue nicely.
So sorry your agent doesn't have the same taste as you. Keep going, you'll only get better.
I'm reading 'The Namesake' right now and it's all about the rejection of the previous generation's culture, mores and style, even their love. Talk about rejection.
Gail
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