I was out of the country last week, and I left all the books I read behind, so I can't copy two sentences for you. I will say that there were some wonderful sentences in Nancy Martin's Murder Melts In Your Mouth. I liked it enough that I almost toted it back home with me, which is saying something for a hardcover!
So since I don't have two sentences I read, I'll give you four sentences I wrote. They're actually from a re-write I've been working on, a retooling of a mystery that won't work as a mystery, so I've been trying different schemes to change it from the traditional mystery written in the first person, the way it started, into something else. I'm not quite sure what, though. So here's a snippet I considered this week.
Five nights a week, from eight to two, she served drinks to college kids, tourists, and cops. Lots and lots of cops. Not that Caro minded cops, but she’d have liked them better if they’d drunk more and tipped better. And if they weren’t absolutely certain her boss was a felon.
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I promised I would contribute this week, so here I am, for better or worse. I didn't have much chance to work on my novel this past week, but I did finish up a short story, and it's from that I offer the following:
"She looked around at the empty park benches, the deserted pathway, the flickering street lamps, the dark shapes that she knew were bushes. 'But I just want this to be over,' she said."
Sheesh! Finding two good lines that say enough to make sense is hard!
Now, two lines from something I read. The something is Rhys Bowen's Her Royal Spyness, which is up for the Agatha for Best Novel.
"There are two disadvantages to being a minor royal.
"First, one is expected to behave as befits a member of the ruling family, without being given the means to do so."
I guess if you want to know what the second disadvantage is, you'll need to read the book. :)
Elaine, you shouldn't worry so much. I'm hooked!
Glad you're back, Laura, and with a double dose no less. Keeping somewhat with your theme, my own written 2:
There was still time to turn back, drop the bar keys into the owner's mailbox and run. The pressures of affection were more insidious and harder to resist than extortion.
My read 2:
Pennyman had made the mistake of rattling his bag full of stolen silver out the window at the man, just as a lark. At the sound of it, coins had flown out of the beggar's cup like popcorn out of hot oil, and the man had thrown open his mouth and howled so high and shrill that his howling was silent, and the rising lamentation of baying dogs had followed the taxi out of the city to the highway.
- from The Last Coin by James P. Blaylock
I'm cheating. I am replacing a period with a semi-colon so I can make the two sentence requisite:
"I shoved THE COMPLETE WORKS OF EDGAR ALLAN POE into the middle of Joey Naclerio's strike zone, every ounce of my weight pushing the book; pushing him. He fell back, rolled off the wall and spun down to the underpass."
Those lines struck me as a grand finale: the word was mightier than the swain, and the young female narrator's baseball obsession brought all the forces of the short story to bear on the scene. Great work by Terrie Farley Moran.
Here's what I'm pulling out as a line I'm in love with from my dust-laden manuscript about how Em met Meg (The odd-couple high school teachers from my short story nominated "Casino Gamble"):
"The fog-spewing crop duster careened toward me like an eager Angel of Death. I hit my brakes and saw the headline tease:
Teacher As Roadkill—News at Eleven."
And, I'm infatuated by Laura's two sentences: "Not that Caro minded cops, but she’d have liked them better if they’d drunk more and tipped better. And if they weren’t absolutely certain her boss was a felon."
Ditto Elaine's deserted, shadow world of a park. Great setting for the fear factor!
I'll be reading Rhys' novel in April, pre Malice - along with the others up for a Malice award. Looking to be an educated voter!
I posted mine over at my blog today.
Elaine - I love the 2 sentences! You do so well what I do so badly...you set a scene in a few words.
Clare - cool...us bar rats have to stick together!
Nan - heck, I cheated and put in FOUR sentences, you could certainly have done three! And as for how Meg met Em, dust off that manuscript, because it's something I want to know! And thanks for the kind words. I love Caro's story and I am determined to get it in some form that will make it "work".
Women of Mystery, I am awed to be in such company. You guys can really rock two sentences.
I am deeply honored that Nan decided to take two sentences from Strike Zone as her sentences read. Thanks so much for that great compliment.
Now I shall disappoint everyone by saying I had a very long day and am too tired to pick sentences. Count on me for next week.
Terrie
Party pooper. I don't even feel bad now about saying C U Next Tuesday!
I'm going to play too. (In pasting two lines here I found obvious problems and had to make corrections...maybe I should paste my whole novel two sentences at a time!)
Mine: "Stabbing the air towards the south side of the pond, they steered me through wet meadow. I extracted a sandaled foot from the mire and stepped into the creek, choosing exposed rocks for crossing."
Something I read (Goofy Foot by David Daniel who offered a great deal of wisdom at Crime Bake last November:
"I peered in at the cheap wristwatches and fourteen-karat jewelry, beat guitars that hadn't seen action since Gerry and the Pacemakers, jackknives, hot plates and bowling trophies. It was the detritus of troubled lives."
Glad you are all still here! I am lest tired and more able to play. Here are my two sentences:
"The bride’s hand involuntarily slipped from the knife and she stepped away from the groom. She read in his face that his ex-wife was telling the truth."
and here are two sentences by Steven Torres from his short story "Early Fall" published in Bronx Noir, which I re-read in the docotor's waiting room this morning.
"The next night, 3 a.m., the phone in Yolanda's one-bedroom apartment rang. Jasmine was sobbing and couldn't get the words out."
Thanks for waiting for me!
Terrie
I take it all back about party pooping, and I can't tell you how 2 sentences at a time are such an appetizer for me. It's like finding the torn corner of a map or only a line from an old note. The treasure hunter in me is so intrigued to see the whole!
Lois -
Hmm...a whole novel two sentences at a time...that would be a heck of a thing. I might have to raid your house in the middle of the night so I could read the rest before you got around to posting!
Terrie -
You know, there's something about a bride with a knife...
Clare -
I'm with you. I LOVE the teaser aspect of the two sentences!
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