Not cubic zirconia, and not these guys either, a faux band assembled way before Spinal Tap to advertise Sony's stereos in the 1970s. Today, I mean something else entirely.
Since I'm often unable to think of a single, substantive thing to comment upon thoughtfully-- my fellow WOM set the bar admirably high-- I hope the dog days of summer also welcome quick, refreshing posts. And, as you may know, I find criminal oddities as refreshing as the tiny bubbles in champagne, perhaps even in a mimosa for the extra Vitamin C. I adore health food!
While crime fiction is populated with a seemingly endless supply of crafty, patient Supergenuises, real crime involves lots of people like this one:
A woman was arrested after she called police to help "get her money back" after she was unhappy with the crack cocaine she purchased...She told officers she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the drugs were "fake."
So unfair! I don't mean her deceptive dealer but the tragic fact that writers outside of Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiassen, or Victor Gischler would probably have trouble sneaking such an entertainingly irate consumer into their own manuscripts without accusations of farcical implausibility. Stay cool, and let the buyer beware.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Criminal Inspiration: Fake Rock
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6 comments:
Clare, you are so right. Most of us would not dare to put anything like this crack-head incident in our stories. Sounds too fake. I have bunches of that kind of story left from when I worked for New York City.
The stories make great cocktail party chatter, but if put in a work of fiction, I can hear the collective scoffing and booing.
One story as an example . . .
Oh, perhaps another time.
Terrie
When I lived in St. Louis, my next door neighbor was a drug addict and sometime dealer. He used to ring my doorbell at all hours trying to sell me things when he was attempting to raise cash to buy his next stash.
One day I came home to find our cul-de-sac filled with cop cars. One of my students at the time was in the "junior training" program the police had -- sort of pre-Academy thing -- so the next day in class, I asked him if he'd heard what happened.
Apparently, my neighbor had called in a robbery. His stash had been stolen.
I don't know. I think Hiassen may be worthy of doing this one justice!
Terrie- Don't tease, how cruel. Promise us one of your favorite fish stories someday. There's nothing like someone else's stories for "adapting" (stealing). I may have to write a loony caper just to use this stuff.
Laura- Apparently, it's an epidemic crimewave!
Lois- I'm sure Hiassen can get away with it while making it read even funnier.
You know, if you enjoy this kind of thing (as I am sure you do), you really should check out News of the Weird. I started reading it something like 15 years ago when it was in the weekly entertainment paper in St. Louis. I couldn't find it when I moved to NY, but then I discovered their listserv. If you just can't stay away from the truly stupid and bizarre, they now have a blog: News of the Weird. If you don't like blogs, you can just sign up for email and they will email you the weekly column. Believe me, it's good for a laugh. A sample of today's news:
Barbara Joyner, 59, charged with robbing a Bank of America near Jacksonville, Fla., admitted that the draft holdup notes in her purse were hers, but denied (despite witnesses) that she was the robber, but then disclosed that the notes were "practic[e]," but then wouldn’t say practice for what.
I do check News of the Weird and other such sites, but I've become selective. Not everything tickles my fancy, but I check oddments daily for savory nuggets.
I like to think it provides a different perspective on the zeitgeist- from the underside.
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