Positive Rejection

I just got a great rejection, and I'm reporting it here in detail.

The rejection came via an assistant to an agent, in response to the 100 pages of my mystery, as they had requested. It gives lots of stuff to mull over, and it shows a great relationship between assistant and agent.

Here's the key elements of the rejection:

---

Hi Na n ,

Thanks for sending this – what a fun premise! ...We think you have a perfect setting for a juicy mystery here, along with the right elements for a more serious subplot.

[However] we [assistant and agent] weren’t quite there with your characters going through each moment with them. While we love the idea of [the protag's] business and her style and her moxy, we didn’t feel that these things all came through loud enough on the page – we needed more descriptive detail about [the characters]. You’ve set up a fantastic plot...but we came away from these pages wanting to connect more with your characters, and to really be rooting for them throughout the book. When we didn’t feel this way, I’m afraid we lost some of the excitement that we initially had for your story.

Keeping all of this in mind, we don’t feel that we would be the best person to represent your work at this time. I’m sorry we won’t have the chance to work together... We wish you much luck and success in finding the right home for your work, and do feel free to keep in touch in the future with other projects.

All the best,

---
My reaction was rather joyeous, having been through this querying process a few times. I sent them a thank-you with a secondary query:

---

Many thanks for your extended comments. You gave me great insight into the missing/weak elements in my manuscript. I had suspicions that I'd missed the mark, but wondered if I was close enough to be invited for a resubmission. I will be rewriting based upon your advice.
Would you be willing to look at a major revamping (pardon the expression) based upon your suggestions in 2 to 3 months (or more, if you prefer)?

I remain convinced that you are a great match for [my story] and that my ability to rewrite will provide you with something you might want to consider.

However this proposal might fare, you have my sincere gratitude for your enlightening comments.

---
Then, minutes later, came the following response:

Thanks very much for your email. Please feel free to send us a revision whenever you have it ready, and we would be happy to read.

---

The moral of the story: when you get a rejection from someone enthusiastic about your submission, appreciate that for all it's worth and take a risk in your reply. AND, some assistants are gems! Treat them with respect. In a couple years they might be a full-fledged agent looking to represent your manuscript!

This, too, proves to me that reading books with characters similar to yours will aim your agent queries in the right direction. Track down the agents who like your kind of characters, and you'll be saving a lot of pointless queries.

Now it's back to the drawing board. I plan a major reworking of my story, and I'm glad to have the grace of time to do just that. Once I get the hang of writing a mystery that works well, I sure do hope the subsequent revisions/new manuscripts will have fewer problems.

Any observations or interpretations of the exhanged notes or the route I should head for in my revisions would be greatly appreciated!

Write ON!

Nan