Just now I’m reading my autographed copy of Stephen King’s Lisey’s Story. The story deals with self-mutilation. Is that the reason I was reminded the other day, when reading about British readers’ fascination with the ‘Misery Memoir,’ of cutting behavior?
Let me first explain that the craze for stories of triumph over personal trauma, as described by Brendan O'Neill in Misery Lit – Read On , elicited dozens of reader responses to the question:
“What lies behind the speedy rise of the "misery memoir"? Is the popularity of these books a healthy sign that Britons are shaking off their stiff upper lips and finally talking out loud about painful events? Or is there an element of voyeurism, even salaciousness, in the snapping up of such memoirs?”
Some responses reminded me that the fascination isn’t all that new: Oliver Twist, to name a classic. A few readers admitted to titillation. Most defended the memoirs as helpful, even inspirational. So why am I reminded of cutting?
In the mid-1980’s I spent five years teaching high-school kids. I was aware of only two cutters...adolescents (often) who slice their arms or other parts of their body with sharp objects. The practice has now, apparently, reached epidemic proportions. And while it may sound like attention-seeking behavior, most cutters hide their cuts and scars. Why do it then?
The cutters in King’s novel use self-mutilation to “let the bad-gunky out.” The sensation is sometimes described as popping a balloon – it can control anxiety, release anger, and allows the person to feel something real. According to "Secret shame: self-injury information and support," cutters hurt themselves to relieve emptiness, anger, depression, and feelings of unreality. And they do it to escape numbness.
“....many of those who self-injure say they do it in order to feel something, to know that they're still alive.”
I’m not one who ordinarily seeks out a shock. It doesn’t take much more than delicious language to excite me about a book, for example. I like my mysteries on the cozy side, I don’t go for violence or gore, and Stephen King scares me to death. (Although I admit to finding it almost impossible to put down Lisey’s Story, next time I’m planning to stick to his much safer On Writing.)
So despite what I lament as my too-exquisite sensitivity, I was disturbed to find myself feeling anesthetized two weeks ago, in those first hours after the Virginia Tech massacre hit the airwaves. My numbness bothered me. A lot. As did my need for a jolt of witnesses' personal trauma before I could feel appropriate grief.
Do readers – and let’s not forget movie viewers – need to be shocked into feeling something? As with cutters, does that shock relieve something inside?
Knock 'em dead!
Lois
Posts
5 comments:
I think they do, and it is a sad reflection on our society. I remember hovering over the televison during the Gulf War and feeling that there was something almost indecent about my desire to want to see it.
You have an autographed copy of Lisey's Story? By the great man himself? Oh - lucky you! I love Stephen King.
Lois -
Years ago, cutting was so unusual it didn't even have a name. I did it a few times during the depths of the most massive depression I've ever experienced (which is saying something) and only admitted it to my psychiatrist when I became scared that I might accidentally do myself permanent and serious damage. I was one of those who needed to feel something.
It's never occurred to me to write about the experience, but, as you can see, I don't hesitate to tell people about it, mostly because I think it *is* useful for people to know that they're not alone, that there are others who have felt the same way and have found healthier ways to deal with their problems.
I don't think the "misery memoirs" are particularly useful for that purpose. People who *have* those feelings don't read those books. Or at least, no one I've known has done so. And although some people think it will help them understand their children or friends who engage in such behavior, I am not entirely sure the memoirs actually teach anything about why people cut. Support groups for parents, etc, are far more useful.
The numb feeling, for me, comes from television, and part of it is the repetitive nature of television. I find myself touched far more deeply when I read a newspaper (online or on paper) than when I see something on TV. Not only is TV repetitive, but you get talking heads pretending great sorrow for three minutes, then going on to a cheerful human interest story.
And since everyone's so eager for video clips, they interview people about totally idiotic things. "How did you feel when you realized what was happening in the class next door?" Well how do you THINK the kid felt?
All of those aspects, I think, *trivialize* very serious events and leave us feeling detatched.
Laura's right, television numbs us. Particularly news programs. It's a terrible thing to not really register the horror of the lives lost in Iraq several times weekly.
I didn't mean to imply that the 'misery memoirs' are about cutting. Typically they're about childhood abuse, often pedophilia, actually. I was trying - awkwardly, and in a brief space - to draw a parallel between the compulsion to read shocking true stories and the need to cut. Hypothesizing that many people are so numbed that they seek to be shocked so they'll feel something, similar to the way cutters self-inflict pain in order to feel something. It is probably insensitive to make the comparison, but it was on my mind because of the Stephen King novel.
I don't think it's insensitive at all. In fact, I think the general "numbness" of society is a sign of general societal malaise. I'm not one who likes to point fingers at TV or music or the internet or anything, but I do think that the media we use to communicate changes the way we see ourselves. (In fact, I believe it so much that I wrote my Master's thesis on the subject.) It's not so much that the medium is the message, but that the way we pass the message along fundamentally changes the way it's received. Like the old game of "telephone."
But I think the "misery memoirs" are more about exorcising one's one demons, and although I certainly understand the need to write them I'm not sure why anyone would want to read them.
Misery Memoirs are a hit with at-risk kids, at least that was my experience as a teacher. Kids who NEVER read a book would chum their way through the gory tales of being abused, being a druggie, etc. The school librarian said they were the one set of books that were flat out stolen out of the library.
It reminds me of the kids who swarmed over the accident site where one of their buddies was thrown from a car and died instantly. The driver was drunk, a common link throughout the group. From the moment of the accident through the wake and funeral the kids all vowed to stop drinking in memory of their lost friend. Most of them then got together to commiserate over - what else? - alcohol.
One student of mine tried to deny the burn on his forearm. Refused to admit it looked remarkably like a scar that would have been left by a car cigarette lighter. Don't know if it was self-inflicted or done by his buddies or his parents, for that matter. I sent the kid to the nurse with a follow-up to guidance and never could find out what happened after that.
Is there any connection between this behavior and all the piercing of various body parts? How about tattoos?
I'd say you brought up a great topic!
Write On!
Post a Comment